Wednesday, January 11, 2012

funny pictures jokesWhere to get funny text pictures and jokes?

Everyday a guy at work always has funny text jokes with pictures (mostly adult humor) on his cell phone. Wherfunny pictures jokese on the web can I find those?
im wonderin the same shitt
www.pictureforwards.com - send them right from the sfunny pictures jokesite!


Here are some:


no adult but pretty funny ones here

fortune tellerFortune teller?

I need a fortune teller to see if theres any money in my future. And to see if you see anything about my favorite website which you will know if you are legimate. And will i get a laptop?
Fortune-telling is the practice of predicting the future, usually of an individual, through mystical or supernatural means and often for commercial gain. It often conflates with the religious practice known as divination.

In Europe, the fortune-telling has not been well-respected for the past several centuries. There have been religious proscriptions against it, as well as civil laws passed that forbid the practice. For these reasons, many mainstream urban Europeans and Americans are unaware of how popular fortune-telling remains with the public and are surprised when they learn of a celebrity or politician who consults a fortune-teller for the purpose of making decisions.


[edit] Methods
Common methods used for fortune telling in Europe and the Americas include astromancy, horary astrology, pendulum reading, spirit board reading, tas搜刮引擎劣化graphy (reading tea leaves in a cup), cartomancy (fortune telling with cards), tarot card reading, crystallomancy (reading of a crystal sphere), and cheiromancy (palmistry, reading of the palms). The latter three have traditional associations in the popular mind with the Roma and Sinti people (often called "gypsies").

Another form of fortune-telling, sometimes called "reading" or "spiritual consultation" does not rely on the use of specific devices or methods, but consists of the practitioner transmitting to the client advice and predictions which are said to have come from spirits or in visions. This form of fortune-telling is particularly popular in the African-American community.

Typical topics that Western fortune-tellers make predictions on include future romantic, financial, and childbearing prospects. They may also be called upon to aid in decision-making regarding job opportunities, the outcome of illnesses, and plans for marriage or divorce.

In addition to divining the future, many fortune-tellers will also give "character readings." These are short analyses of the character of a person and do not necessarily involve specific preditions about future events. Methods used in character analysis readings include numerology, graphology, palmistry (if the subject is present), and astrology. The subject of a character reading may be the client, who seeks self-knowledge, but it is quite common for the fortune-teller to perform a character reading on the client's prospective mate. In the latter case, when a third party is being assessed for marital compatibility with the client, an element of fore-telling does occur, as the practitioner explores the future of the relationship based on the characters of the two parties.


[edit] Sociology
In contemporary Western culture, it appears that women consult fortune-tellers more than men: some indication of this comes from the profusion of advertisements for commercial fortune-telling services in magazines aimed at women, while such advertisements appear virtually unknown in magazines aimed specifically at men.

It is quite common for young women to seek out fortune tellers as they embark on adulthood, and many women maintain decades-long relationships with their personal readers or fortune-tellers. Telephone consultations with psychics (charged to the caller's telephone account at very high rates) grew in popularity through the 1990s but they have not replaced - and may never replace - the traditional card readers, tea leaf readers, palmists, and spiritual readers who see their clients in small storefronts or occult shops.


[edit] Asian fortune telling

Street fortune teller consults with client in Taichung, TaiwanChinese Fortune Telling better known as (Chinese: 算卦, suan ming) has utilized many varying divination techniques throughout the dynastic periods. There are four major methods stifortune tellerll in practice in China, Taiwan and Hong Kong today, and they remain in use due to their accuracy and popularity. Over time, some of these concepts have moved into Korean and Japanese culture under other names. For example "Saju" in Korea is the same as the Chinese four pillar method.


[edit] Popular methods
Face reading (点相) - This is the interpretation of facial features of the nose, eyes, mouth and other criteria within one's face and the conversion of those criteria into predictions for the future. This usually covers one phase of the client's life, and reveals the type of luck associated with a certain age range.
Palm reading (手相) - This analyzes the positioning of palm lines for love, personality, and other traits. It somewhat resembles Western palmistry in technique.
Kau Cim (供籤) - This requires the shaking of a bamboo cylinder, which results in at least one modified incense stick leaving the cylinder. The Chinese characters inscribed on the stick are analyzed by an interpreter. The prediction is short range, as it covers one Chinese calendar year. In the West, this method has been popularized under the trade-name "Chi-Chi sticks."
Zi wei dou shu (紫微斗數) - This procedure, sometimes loosely called (Chinese: 劈命, pik meng), involves the client seeking an advisor with a mastery of the Chinese calendar. Astrology is used in combination with the Chinese constellation, four pillars of destiny and the five elements methods of divination. The end result is a translation of one's destiny path, an interpretation of a pre-determined fate. The result of the details vary depending on the accuracy of the original four pillars information the client provides to the fortune-teller. This method can also verify unique events that have already happened in one's life.

[edit] Other methods
Man Wong Gua (武王卦) - [1][2]
Miu Fa Yik Sou (梅花难數) - literally "Plum flower calculation"
Kei Mun Tun Kap (偶門逃甲)
Five Element Changes (五止难) - based on the five elements
Yik Lam (难林)
Yin Kam (演禽)
Yin and Yang Bowl (陰陽杯) - based on Yin and yang
Tik Pan San Sou (鐵板神數)
Wong Kek Yin Sou (皇極难數)
Seven Major and Four Minor Stars (七政四餘)
Three Generation Life (三世書)
Yin Kam Fa (演禽法)
Chin Ting Sou (前订數)
Leung Tou Kam (兩頭鉗) - literally "dual headed suppress"

[edit] Famous Chinese quote

Traditional Chinese: 一命两運三風火四積陰怨五讀書

Simplified Chinese:一命两运三堪舆四积晴过五思书

Pinyin: yi1 man4 er4 yun4 san1 feng1 shui3 si4 ji1 yin1 de2 wu3 du2 shu1

Jyutping: jat1 meng6 ji6 wan6 saam1 fung1 搜刮引擎劣化i2 sei3 zik1 jam1 dak1 ng5 duk6 syu1

English translation : one fate, two luck, three fengshui, four karma, five education

The above quote is culturally believed to have come from Su Shi of the Song dynasty.[3] As the quote continue to remain wildly popular in Chinese culture today. The actual interpretation vary greatly depending on the individual as there is no classical text mentioning what Su Shi really meant. Some claims that your destiny is really in your control as the 5 components is mathematically 1 more than the four pillars of destiny. Meaning you are in control of your future on top of your born-fate.[3] Other interpretations may suggest the order in which the components are important. For example education is not useful if fate does not put you in the proper place first. Other interpretations may suggest there is no order. Just a list of the 5 components.


[edit] Sociology
In Chinese society, fortune telling is a respected and important part of social and business culture. Thus, fortune tellers often take on a role which is equivalent to management consultants and psychotherapists in Western society. As management consultants, they advise business people on business and investment decisions. Many major business decisions involve the input of fortune tellers. Their social role allows decision risks to be placed outside of the organization and provides a mechanism of quickly randomly deciding between several equally useful optionfortune tellers. As psychotherapists, they help people discuss and resolve personal issues without the stigma of illness.


[edit] African fortune telling

[edit] Methods
One of the most traditional methods of telling fortunes in Africa is called casting (or throwing) the bones. Because Africa is a large continent with many tribes and cultures, there is not one single technique. Not all of the "bones" are actually bones, small objects may include cowrie shells, stones, strips of leather, or flat pieces of wood. In general, most casting or throwing methods are performed on the ground (often within a circle) and they fall into one of two categories:

Casting marked bones, flat pieces of wood, shells, or leather strips and numerically counting up how they fall -- either according to their markings or whether they do or do not touch one another -- with mathematically-based readings delivered as memorized results based on the chosen criteria.
Casting a special set of symbolic bones or an array of selected symbolic articles -- as, for instance, using a bird's wing bone to symbolize travel, a round stone to symbolize a pregnant womb, and a bird foot to symbolize feeling.

[edit] Sociology
In African society, many people seek out diviners on a regular basis. There are no prohibitions against the practice. Those who tell fortunes for a living are also sought out for their wisdom as counselors and for their knowledge of herbal medicine.


[edit] Opposing theories
Those who believe that it is possible for a practitioner to tell fortunes or predict the future for clients may have religious objections to the practice. For instance, there are Christians who believe that fortune telling is forbidden in the Bible. [4][5]

Those who do not believe that fortune tellers can actually read the future may believe that several other factors explain the popularity and anecdotal accuracy of fortune-telling:

Fortune-telling in
No fortune teller can be guaranteed 100% accurate. This person should never had said anything like this to anyone. This is why it is important to go to someone reputable, where they KNOW you should NEVER say things like that to frighten people. It is totally unethical.

Laura Boyle is a good psychic


i hate reading for skeptics....

your element is water, and your astrological sign is possibly cancer, scorpio or pisces.... or if you aren't one of these signs, at least you are very emotionally intuitive and sensitive.

i don't see money as the main object in your near future, but i do see that a conflict with a friend will leave you trapped between two decisions that both have severely negative consequences.... cosmic advice: don't let yourself get trapped in the first place, and don't let society rule your life. live your own life by your own rules.
If you are actually naive enough to believe in fortune tellers there will not be much money in your future.
1)
Hard times brought on by addiction, wasteful spending, ill health, or an outside event. Rejection, loneliness, and the need for comfort. May suggest unemployment, a catastrophe in personal finance, or a turn for the worse in business.

2)
Seven of Rods (Valor): Standing courageously for your beliefs in the face of adversity. Fear of failure overcome by the will to succeed. Great obstacles met with heroism and determination. Inner strength brought to bear at a critical moment.

3)

The Star: New hopes and splendid revelations of the future. Insight, inspiration, courage and enlightenment of the spiritual self. Body and mind and converging towards the light at the end of a dark time.

The information here is yours to interpret as you wish .
For / Tune For a Tune -----your tune $$$$ for my Tune , to tell

days of our livesPOLL :On Days Of Our Lives When John Black First Came To Salem in The 1980s Did Stefano mess with his mind?

Stefano messed with everyones mind!! hehehe
He was already under Sdays of our livestefano's control.
Yes. At the beginning, john thought he himselfdays of our lives was roman. (Roman was locked up under stefenos control)

simple image searchWhy is google image search so terribly slow when scrolling?

I love google. It's good for pretty much anything.. except images. Billion dollar website can't even iron out this simple problem? Yahoo image search is perfect.. no excuses google!
as you are scrolling..simple image search...google image search is loading millions of pictures at a time...and they are updated as they load. Yahoo has cached pages that may contain old pictures that have been on the page for a while so whesimple image searchn you scroll down through with yahoo....you are actually looking at pages..not individual updated pictures.
It's all the new google changes they haven't work all the glitches out yet.

google searchGoogle search?

Is there a way to delete what youve searched for on Google so that other people that use the computer dont see it?
I dont mean deleting cookies or pages youve visited, just search results.
Of course, everything is possible in Love and War and Computers....

Go to google,.. and in the search box, double click, or find your search texts, using Alt and down cursors,,, select them and press the delete button on the keyboard..... Bingo,,,, You're done.... NNJOYYYYYY...................google search ;)
easier and more permanent... login to scroll down to "Web History" and press "Turn Off Google Goggles Search History"


you can delete all auto complete from below link
tools > internet options > content > autocomplete >
clear forms and clear passwords.
If you're using Firefox go to Tools > Clear Private Data and make sure "Saved From and Search History" box is checked.

If you're using Internet Exgoogle searchplorer then you should switch to Firefox ;). j/k
In Internet Explorer go to Tool > Internet Options > Then under General tab find Browsing History and click "Delete", there delete "Form Data".

That should do it, good luck!
1 open IE7
2 favourites (the orange star)
3 select the history tab
4 r/click on the log. eg, today, monday ect
If your not using IE7 look in the favourites menu..
better off selecting "by date"

trivia questions for adultsWhere can I find a printable list of fun trivia questions for adults at a party?

this site has fun trivia questions for parties. And they are : Art Quiz - 26 multiple choice questions about artists and their tools. Take this quiz not only to test your knowledge of art, but to be inspired by the creativity that surrounds you.
宝贝疙瘩 Trivia - Perfect for a baby shower, but oh so fun for testing a new father-to-be also. Why not start a friendly wager before asking the dad-to-be these questions. This baby trivia would also be great for a mom's group, mother's day event, or just for fun.

Barbie Quiz - An interesting multiple choice quiz about that famous doll every girl had to have.

Beauty Quiz - You just might learn something with this trivia. Great questions about cosmetics and the beauty industry. How much do you really know?

Camping - How much do you know about spending time in the great outdoors and protecting yourself from the elements? Test yourself with this fun and easy multiple choice quiz.

Christmas Multiple Choice - Everything from Santa to eggnog is included in this yuletide quiz. Use it as an icebreaker or tie breaker at your Christmas events.

Craft Quiz - A great icebreaker for a craft party or women's group. It includes questions on a wide variety of arts and crafts.

Dictionary Game - A multiple choice, fun with words dictionary word quiz, using obscure words to test your kntrivia questions for adultsowledge of the English language. The words could also be used for a game of balderdash.

Dog Quiz - A fun and informative quiz to test how much you know about man's best friend.

Exercise Trivia - A multiple choice exercise quiz to test your knowledge of general fitness strategies. Use it as an icebreaker for an exercise and healthy living class or mix the questions with some of our others for a trivia party.

Fun with Food - a multiple choice quiz on a variety of foods. Great for a kitchen party, bridal shower, or trivia party.

Green Trivia - Questions about all things green. Use it for any party or event. It's especially perfect for a St. Patrick's Day party.

Guy Fawkes Quiz - consists of questions related to the infamous man behind the failed Gun Powder Plot in England in 1605.

Maui Quiz - If you've travelled to the island of Maui or if you're in the know about the Hawaiian islands, try this fun quiz. It also has links to two other Maui quizzes. Try them at your next Hawaiian Luau Party.

Model Trivia - A fun multiple-choice quiz highlighting the lives, loves, and careers of our favorite supermodels. Perfect for a celebrity, fashion, or beauty party.

Pirates of the Caribbean - This Pirates of the Caribbean quiz will test your knowledge of the cast and how much attention you paid to the little details oftrivia questions for adults the movie.

Red Trivia - A quiz based on the color red. Perfect for a Valentine party.

School Trivia - This multiple choice quiz includes a variety of questions ranging from movies set in a school environment to essential school supplies.

TV and Movie - Do you remember Gilligan's Island and the A T-Team? Do you keep up to date with the new shows like American Idol? Find out what you actually do remember with this TV and Movie multiple choice quiz.

Valentine Quiz - A multiple choice quiz based on the history of Valentine's Day, plus events, people, and things associated with this romantic day.

Wedding Trivia - The perfect multiple choice quiz for a bridal shower or a wedding. It includes a wide variety of wedding related questions that make it both entertaining and informative.
I Like this one:
www.multi-trivia.com

You can also access it via mobile:
mobile.multi-trivia.com
CS


If you want fun ADULT (sex) trivia go to www.KinkyQuizzo.com and order a party game kit for only $85.00 you can get all the questions, answer sheets, $150 worth of sex toys and more. It's great for an adult party, birthdays, bachelor or bachelorette, co-ed parties, swinger parties etc.

keith urban tour scheduleDo you think Taylor Swift will come to my state?

Taylor's going on tour with keith urban in the summer And she never comes to ARIZONA!!! the last time she was here was a year ago. Does anyone know the tour schedule or when there announcing it??
She's actually headlining in 2009
She is onkeith urban tour schedulely doing a few shows with Keith
She'll probably come to Arizona, she'll be everywhereeee next year :D
check her website or just keep your eyes open and read the newspaper.



i live in Tucaon AZ i
really hope she comes!
id be thkeith urban tour schedulee first in(on)line buying a ticket!!
i love taylor!! [= [= [=
YAY Taylor!!
I'm sure she will come.I'll call her later and tell her to do so :)
Maybe you should look on her website taylorswift.com

men who don't cheatAre there any men out there who don't cheat on thier wives?

I feel like I am the only person in the world who takes marriage vows seriously these days.
Almost 12 years and have never come close! I try my best to stay out of any situations that could lead to cheating!

So ME ME ME I don't cheat!
Great question and best rating comment. I am on looking for some "hope" myself. True, true about cheat on you once, and the second....You don't love yourself enough.


Good question. There are many different answers to tell you, but there are lots of guys who do not cheat. It just that people focus on the negative things in life these days because what is on. My parents and dads family, all have been married and never cheated. It is how you make the relationship in marriage that works, communicating, treating each other with respect, thinking of each others feelings and holding on to what is dear in life what makes a great relationship. Good luck
I have never been married but I've been engaged. I have never cheated nor do I plan on cheating nor will I ever cheat.

I know what you mean, I have been cheated on and I have been the other woman without knowing i was the other woman. It hurts. The man I was engaged to did cheat on me and that's the reason why we broke up. It hurts.

It's like this person who is supposed to love you and protect you, is the one hurting you.
I have never cheated on my wife of 9 years. I have never cheated on a girlfriend either.
I have had opportunities and probably would not have been caught but I would know and I would feel like crap. I would not want to risk loosing my wife's trust. She can learn to love me again (she is doing this now I hope) but she could never trust me again and I would rather have trust as the base of my marriage than anything. So to answer you question, no I have never cheated and never will.
of course they are
example: my parents
they've been married for 15 years and I know for a fact neither have ever cheated on each other
=)
I cant imagine ever cheatinmen who don't cheatg on someone I love so much
people have their reasons when it comes to cheating, i dont agree with it but they've had their reasons
I on the otherhand vow to also never cheat on my loved one
it would hurt them too much
I cant do something that awful to them.
I've been together exclusively with my wife for 33 years. 31 of them married. I have NEVER cheated, and there is not the slightest doubt in my mind that she has NEVER cheated either. There is no doubt in my mind that there are many couples in the world that have never cheated. Probably many more than those who do. We just never get any press, because we never do anything news worthy. Trust me you're far from alone.
I am 29 years old...and would like to think I am a good looking guy. I keep myself in shape and care about how I look.

I have been married going on 8 years next week now! And I have never cheated. I am proud of that, and never ever intend on doing anything to ruin my relationship.

Have I been tempted? Of course I have...and I am certainly not perfect. But I try my hardest to not fuel the fire of temptation. That is why I hate hearing about women who go after married guys. Geesh, give us a break girls. You know your beautiful...but please stay away from me!
I was married to someone for ten years that completely neglected me physically and mentally. I once went thirteen months without sex and did nothing to deserve that. There was only one weekend in ten years that I had sex three times in the weekend; and through it all, I never cheated.
ive cheated on every single one of my girlfriends, 20 or so... but i have never cheated on my wife. i took "i do" as a seriouse commitment. i still find other women attractive but i would never cheat.. even now being seperated and thinking the worst i wouldnt do it...i love her to much and it would add to much guilt and i dont want more problems than i have
My husband doesn't cheat on me, and I don't cheat on him.

We both take our vows VERY seriously -- divorce isn't even anmen who don't cheat option for us. Sometimes I feel the same way you do -- that no one else takes marriage seriously anymore. It's sad. :(
Most men I know don't cheat.But a man will cheat if he's been cheated on.What I mean is,if a man has been decieved before you your subject to feel that backlash affect.He doesn't trust any woman married or not.
I'm one of them. Well, I'm gay, I don't know if that makes any difference to you, but cheating is something that's really far away from me.
I am sure there are quite a few. Our civilized society has made monagamy important it also controls the spread of disease.
Did you know monogamy is unnatural.
That would require my husband getting his butt up off of the couch and putting down the tv remote. I would be more likely to cheat and I'm serious about that.
I have yet to cheat on my wife, but my wife on the other hand, well lets just say she is a very giving person.
I still think there are. But remember, wives cheat too, and probably just as much as husbands do. It goes both ways.

I've never been married, but I have never cheated on a girlfriend. And I definitely would not cheat on the love of my life whom I would marry.
i didn't cheat, but i'm divorced because she found somebody better.
we all cheat...those that are saying they don't/haven't are either lying or are about to cheat
Where are they ?
I know of many husbands who cheats on their wives with other MEN...
Look around ...
It takes all kinds to make the world. Some do and some don't.
My husband.

I have not cheated.


I heard of one once, but I never met him personally.
I don't cheat
yes.
but your a woman...that would just be your opinion that your husband isn't cheating..How do you really know?
Old kid raises his hand and waves, "Over here!"
I want to know too...someone please answer Yes....
Nope none. We all cheat so you should too.

live christmas musicAre they playing Christmas music on the radio where you live yet?

Where I live, they started it the week before Halloween which I think is a little strange. As soon as Halloween is over then you can bring on the Christmas stuff.
Yeah!! Wait till after Thanksgiving then you can start.
Not yet, can't wait though, I love it :-)
They will on Thanksgiving night during the big dinner. Happens every year. But at some stores, it's playing already. I sometimes ask myself, "Is this Christmas dinnlive christmas musicer or Thanksgiving dinner we are eating?"
I was at Sam's Club yesterday, singing along in my head to the tune that was playing and then I said, out loud, "Oh, my God, Christmas music already! It's not even Thanksgiving yet!"
Not yet. The radio stations where I live said they will start on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.
I haven't heard any yet. Usually around Thanksgiving a few stations play only Chrilive christmas musicstmas music.
yes they started playing it A DAY BEFORE HALLOWEEN!! i hate christmas carols they get so annoying after a while
Not yet, but I've been playing it in the car since mid-October.
Yeah. I went shopping on the weekend and in the stores they were playing Christmas songs. Kind of sudden--one minute i was dresses up as a witch and the next i'm covered in tinsel and ornaments.

cee lo green forget you grammyWhat 2011 grammy performance did you enjoy the most?

Mine was Cee lo greens performance feat. gwyneth paltron (forget you)
i just wanna know what yours are???
Justin Bieber ft. Jcee lo green forget you grammyaden Smith. and Usher ft. Justin Bieber. and ALL of Rhianna's Performances. and Cee lo Green's performance ft. gwyneth paltcee lo green forget you grammyron.
Yes, I love Cee Lo. Second would be Barbra Streisand, and third the tribute to Aretha.
Muse rocked my world.